The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
You know, Bitter and Blue is not just here to provide thought-provoking opinion and insightful commentary on the goings on at Manchester City.
No, no. In a fine gesture of public spiritidness, today I am bringing you a feature that will provide an informative look at one of our Premiership rivals.
And, with the derby but two days away now, what better team to focus on than Manchester United?So here you have it, with thanks to Blue Moon here is the Bitter and Blue fact guide to Manchester United.
Utd are the biggest club in the world.
Utd took a million to Barcelona.
All their fans know all the words to the flowers of Manchester, they sing it before every match, every time.
All Utd fans are cool socialists.
Utd have the most loyal and hardest firm in the world.
The cockney reds all come from Manchester.
Utd fans are so cool they never wear colours ever (the fact they sell 4 million shirts a week is irrelevant).
Utd have the BEST stadium in the whole world.
Utd fans NEVER sing about death as they know only too well how it feels.
All the famous bands and musicians in Manchester support Man United. All of them. There are no embarrasing celeb fans, they are all cool.
They ALL come from Manchester.
All Utd fans have the first Stone Roses Album (ltd edition of course). All Utd fans know the words to "One Love".
All Utd fans were at Spike Island, it was their special day.
There are no Utd fans in Stockport, and definitely non in London.
They are not in any way bothered about City which is why they never ever spend most of their matches singing nursery rhymes about us.
There are no City fans in Manchester. Not one, they all come from Stockport.
Eric Cantona is the best player in the world ever.
United have never received government aid to build the swamp (except for the full rebuild of the cantilever stand before the 66 world cup).
You just can't get a ticket for Old Trafford.
The train to London Euston is never full of United fans. Ever. Never seen one.
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